Garry Breen “hit rock bottom” just over a year ago. Living in Belfast at the time, the former Irish League footballer quit Dungannon Swifts to return home to Letterkenny to live with his parents after admitting he had a gambling problem.
It was his father who picked up on the signs in a simple text message Breen sent to his parents which read, ‘I love you’.
“We actually joke about it now. My mother texted back saying, ‘What are you on about? I love you too. See you soon’,” the 34-year-old recalls.
“It was my dad who clicked on and realised I don’t usually do that. He knew something wasn’t right and they told me to come home. I said I would try and get through it, but they were having none of it. They wouldn’t leave me until I decided to come home.”
Breen was a casual gambler growing up. He placed the odd bet, admitting he never felt in any danger of spiralling out of control.
But then there was a “sudden switch” that changed everything.
He said: “I was working from home and stuck in the house. I was looking at the same four walls most of the time, and then getting out to train and play football. Or I would be taking my son out.
“I was never a massive gambler and could always control it. I don’t know what changed, but there was a sudden switch. I hit rock bottom. I was picking my son up, and I was counting my change to see if I could afford a Kinder egg which he loves.
“When that happens you realise things aren’t right. I was rock bottom and I made one last cry for help. I texted my mum and dad and luckily they clocked on to what I was getting at.
“They just said ‘You’re coming home for a bit’. I went home for a year and loved it. I worked for the company my father owns, and I was playing some football with a local club called Freebooters.
“I’ll never forget when I was coming home. I put up a post saying something like ‘Thanks Belfast for everything’. I have never had so many offers in my whole career from teams in my home area messaging me asking what I was going to do for football.
“I never had so many offers in my life. Kilkenny is such a small place and everyone knows everyone else. I have friends at different teams, and old mates who are managers now. They were all texting me.
“But I loved playing with my local team and he put my mind at ease.”
Breen started his career with Manchester City’s academy and had a brief spell with Hereford United before returning to his native Ireland in 2009. He played for Galway United and Dundalk before moving into the Irish League with Portadown.
He spent six years at Shamrock Park and then moved to Belfast to sign for Cliftonville where he would remain until January 2022. Breen also had a year with Dungannon Swifts before returning to his native Kilkenny.
“I left Dungannon mid-February last year. I loved the club and the lads but I needed to get away. I contacted the chairman Keith Boyd and said I needed to get home. I was in a bad place and had to move, even though I had a year-and-a-half remaining on my contract,” he said.
“So that’s when I returned home to Kilkenny. I was at rock bottom, and I did one last cry for help to my mum and dad, because there were some bad thoughts going through my head. I had to move home, for myself. I have no problems coming out and saying it now, but it was the gambling that left me rock bottom. I had to leave Dungannon Swifts at the time and just return home, for my own sake.
“It was putting my head away and I needed to get home. And it did me the world of good. I am in a good place now. And I have moved back to Belfast so I am closer to my son as well which is great.
“Before that I was travelling up and down from Kilkenny to see him, and his mum would have driven him down to Dublin sometimes.”
Breen hasn’t placed a bet since returning home to Kilkenny last year. He says reaching his one-year anniversary will be a proud milestone.
He said: “I am coming up to one year off the gambling, and it hasn’t even crossed my mind. It has been a massive difference since quitting. It takes a massive weight off your shoulders.
“I have never touched drugs, and I am not a massive drinker. But I can imagine gambling being one of the worst addictions.”Like, not being able to buy my son a Kinder egg. Things like that just make you question, ‘What the f*** am I doing?’.”
“It’s also the lying and shame. People ask you do you have a bet on and you say no. Then you’re sneaking off to check how your bets are going. Thankfully I am off it nearly a year, and I am in such a better place.”
Breen added: “My birthday is St Patrick’s Day. When I moved home last year it was around Cheltenham Festival time, and we always used to go to the local. But there are two betting shops beside it, so my dad said there was no chance we were going there. Even at that, I thought I would struggle when Cheltenham came around, but I didn’t even look at a paper or results. It never crossed my mind.
“It is weird how I was in the depths of despair in gambling, and then all of a sudden I was off it. And not missing it. Obviously it takes other people longer to quit, but I moved on quite quickly.
“I was working with my father and staying quite busy. That probably helped. But it was such a quick turnaround for me.
“It might be a tenner or £20 here and there, and at the time you don’t think it’s much. But when you add them up each month you realise just how much money you are squandering. And it wears you down.
“When you stop, it is a weight off your shoulders.”
Breen is back in Belfast and back playing football.
He has joined St James’ Swifts, who currently play in the Ballymena and Provincial League.
The defender made his debut last week in a Crawford Cup defeat to Strabane Athletic, and on Saturday he will turn out for the club’s league game against Brantwood.
“I am loving it at St James’ Swifts. The boys are great and have made me feel so welcome. It was good making my debut for them, despite the result. Everyone has been great to me,” he said.
“I had been playing for Freebooters FC which kept me ticking over. It was good being involved in the team and playing a standard of football. St James is a step up from that. They are an ambitious club and want to go as high as they can. They are not sitting on what they have created.
“Obviously Barry Johnston used to manage them, and Ryan Catney and Marty Murray played for them. That shows their ambition from day one. They are not resting on that. And they want to go as far as they can.
“I have signed to the end of the season and we will see how it goes.”
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This story first appeared on Radio Today