The Many Surveys of Christmas

Kelly Clarkson underneath The TreeYou almost never read about press releases in Ross on Radio, but I get a lot of them. Some are on behalf of artists. Some have nothing to do with radio — perhaps because someone meant to send that release about labor unions or California politics to a different Sean Ross. Some are meant for somebody else altogether, beginning with “Dear Mark” or “Dear Trevor,” and proving that the firm’s AI generated e-mail customization isn’t working so well.

Sometimes the outside press releases are interesting, even if off-topic. Every now and then I’ve considered trying to interview somebody outside of the radio and music world, on the “good reporter can make anything interesting” theory. But that would require a few extra days in the week. Also, I doubt that the interviewees would be okay with the title I imagine for that series: Ross on Randos.

Increasingly, one PR tactic is to send data-mining press releases, sometimes using outside stats on behalf of an unrelated client. Many are from a UK-based firm (you can sometimes tell because a list of America’s top five songs in some category will contain four major U.S. hits and then something by, say, Keane).

This week, the stream of data includes the best malls for last-minute holiday shopping (for a vape manufacturer; it’s Mall of America), the top Christmas movie (Miracle on 34th Street for gaming site Clash.gg); most-streamed video-game soundtracks (Undertale for Pulsz.com); state with the most dangerous public transportation (New York for an injury attorney) and Germany’s most-Instagrammable holiday markets. Last week, there was a playlist from System of a Down’s Shavo Odadjian’s 22 Red matching various strains of weed with accompanying songs (yes, “The Joker” was there.)

There’s one not-so-oddball release this week. ASCAP has released a ranking and playlists of its top-played holiday songs, both classics and “new classics” (from the last 20 years). The leading new titles are:

  1. “Underneath the Tree” (Kelly Clarkson)
  2. “Santa Tell Me” (Ariana Grande)
  3. “Snowman” (Sia)
  4. “Mistletoe” (Justin Bieber)
  5. “Like It’s Christmas” (Jonas Brothers)

Top standards are:

  1. “It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas”
  2. “Sleigh Ride”
  3. “Jingle Bell Rock”
  4. “A Holly Jolly Christmas”
  5. “Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree”
  6. “Let It Snow, Let It Snow, Let It Snow”
  7. “Santa Claus Is Comin’ to Town”
  8. “All I Want for Christmas Is You”
  9. “Winter Wonderland”
  10. “It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year”

Here are some of the other lists received this week from the UK’s Journo Research, all presented for your amusement:

Most Dangerous Christmas Songs to Drive To — based on their BPM and a finding that songs over 120 beats per minute lead to dangerous driving behaviors. Study on behalf of Insuranceopedia.

  1. “Frosty the Snowman” (no specific version is cited; the song is clocked at 172 BPM, ahead of … )
  2. “All I Want for Christmas is You” (150 BPM)
  3. “Feliz Navidad”
  4. “Santa Claus Is Comin’ to Town”
  5. “Happy X-Mas (War Is Over)”

Most Distracting Christmas Songs — also based on BPM, on behalf of Germany’s CasinoRevisor.com. The Pretenders’ “2000 Miles” is found to be best for productivity, followed by Brenda Lee’s “Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree” and the Bing Crosby version of “Silver Bells.” Most distracting are:

  1. “Last Christmas” (the Ariana Grande version)
  2. “The Happiest Christmas Tree” (Nat King Cole — fortunately, not a distraction most radio listeners are likely to be confronted with)
  3. “Merry Christmas Everyone” (UK ’80s hitmaker Shakin’ Stevens — still a UK radio staple)
  4. “Hang Your Lights” (Jamie Cullum, more of that UK bias)
  5. “It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year” (Andy Williams)

Best Songs to Help You Sleep: Also from the UK, on behalf of retailer Bed Kingdom. Songs on Spotify “sleep” playlists were analyzed in search of songs with low BPM, low danceability, low happiness, and “high acousticness.”

  1. Mother’s Daughter, “The Secret of Christmas”
  2. Michael Bolton, “White Christmas”
  3. Michael Bublé, “Silent Night” 
  4. Andrea Bocelli, “Angels We Have Heard on High”
  5. Frank Sinatra, “I’ll Be Home for Christmas”

Highest Spotify Earnings, calculated at an average $0.004 per stream on behalf of Playlist Name AI:

  1. Mariah Carey, “All I Want for Christmas Is You” ($7.3 million)
  2. Wham, “Last Christmas” ($6.1 million)
  3. Ariana Grande, “Santa Tell Me” ($4.2 million)
  4. Brenda Lee, “Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree” ($4.1 million)
  5. Michael Bublé, “It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas” ($4.0 million)
  6. Sia, “Snowman” ($3.9 million)
  7. Michael Bublé, “Holly Jolly Christmas” ($2.5 million)
  8. John Lennon, “Happy Xmas (War Is Over)” ($2.3 million)
  9. Band Aid, “Do They Know It’s Christmas” ($2.3 million)
  10. Ronettes, “Sleigh Ride” ($2.2 million)

This story first appeared on radioinsight.com